


i've been ghosting

by larvitar



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, and veronica and the heathers are juniors, kurt and ram are seniors, more movie - based with musical influences, slow burn ig ?, this duke is more so movie duke lmao, this is more movie based in the sense that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-10-19 12:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10640055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larvitar/pseuds/larvitar
Summary: All the ghosts had left her. Except for her.☆★☆chansaw , multi - chap , angst





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST  
> also fun facts so you don't die :  
> in the original heathers script , heather duke is the only one without a boyfriend . in the movie , she is the only one who doesn't have a sexual experience .  
> i just found that neat , enjoy your heartbreak <3

What did the class of 1990 and 1991 both have in common?

They were both missing two people from each.

In the class of 1990, two airhead jocks were gone. And in the class of 1991, a psychopathic murderer and a mythic bitch were gone.

Ram and Kurt's ghosts barely hung around her anymore. After highschool, their presence was reduced to distant whoops of encouragement for Veronica to get wasted at whatever college kegger she was going to. Or sometimes wolf whistles whenever there were pretty girls around. That was freshman year of college though, and now she's a sophomore and they had vanished (partly because she stopped going to keggers, but still).

At first, she expected J.D. to hang around the most. Up until graduation, she would feel his presence at least once a week. Then at graduation, she heard a whisper, barely even audible of;

"Too bad we didn't graduate together, eh darling?"

Then he vanished. Completely. Veronica was glad she didn't have to be burdened with his presence anymore, because just thinking about him reminded her of everything she had lost.

Now, it was sophomore year of college she was able to live a mostly normal life. She had tried and failed to keep in touch with Betty, but she had kept in touch with McNamara, who gave her updates on Duke's wellbeing.

"...You know it's kinda sad, Veronica. You know, seeing Duke just as a secretary. 'Cause I know she's gonna try and claw her way up, but work isn't Westerburg, and she won't succeed. Instead, it'll be just like high school when _she_  was still with us, but permanently. She'll always be second-best, second-rate, first mate, the vice president." McNamara sighed over the phone.

"How are things going with her, though? Like, in that department." McNamara had came out to her as a lesbian after the night of graduation. She cried buckets and admitted that she had feelings for Duke ever since the first time Chandler snapped on them and they only had each other. She had only realized it last year, after Ram and Kurt's death.

"I think I'm making strides," piped McNamara (and Veronica could tell she was twirling the phone line), "but I'm not entirely sure. I've been trying to comfort her as much as I possibly can whenever one of her climbing the rank schemes fails miserably."

"You should just come out to her. It's 1993, it couldn't be that bad."

"It may be 1993, but a lot of people still hate dykes and shit. Besides, Duke's parents are really conservative. Even if she felt the same, her parents wouldn't even let us." Veronica heard Heather sigh over the phone again.

Veronica could hear McNamara fidgeting. "What do you think-" Heather gulped- "what do you think _she_ would've said about it?"

Veronica drummed her fingers on her desk, absentmindedly answering. "She was a bitch, not a bigot, Mac. I think she would've supported you, in that passive-aggressive way she always did." Eager to get off the topic of her, Veronica asked Heather another question. "Have you came out to your parents?"

"No, my god. It's an unfortunate truth that most rich CEO types don't really support the gays. Bad for business, I guess."

Veronica's eyes darted back to her schoolwork. "Hey, Heather, I have to go now. I still have some work to do before the night ends. If you need me, you know where to find me, alright?"

"Alright," was McNamara's reply. "I'll see you later, Ronnie." And with that, Heather hung up.

"You're right, you know." were the words that came after McNamara hanging up. The tone of voice held a confident, almost pretentious air. Oh my god, it wasn't- no, it had to be.

Veronica immediately whipped her head around to face none other than the demon queen of high school, the mythic bitch, the forever-iconic and forever-dead Heather Chandler.

"What?" was the single word Veronica was barely able to utter out of her mouth, almost coming in a stutter.

"I am a bitch, I am an asshole, I am a slut and a whore and you know what else? I'm also a dyke, so you're correct." Chandler scoffed. "Mac is dumber than Kurt and Ram combined if she thinks I liked boys, much less Duke."

"You're a lesbian?" Veronica forced the three words out of her mouth as best as she could. She had avoided a stutter, but not an eyeroll from Chandler.

"Tsk tsk tsk. Veronica Sawyer, college extraordinaire at Harvard Law and still such a pillowcase."

"It wasn't obvious, though. I'm going to be a lawyer, not a psycho-analyst."

Heather huffed. "Fair enough, I guess. But Duke and Mac were unabashedly gay, same with me, we were just good at hiding it ever since we were 14 and let guys shove their hands down our pants or up our shirts."

"How the _fuck_ did you even- how the fuck did you even know?"

"Two very different ways. I've seen the way Mac looked at girls. Like they were divine beings. Preppy girls, nerdy girls, any kind of pretty girls that she was ready to bow down on her knees and worship in whatever way possible." Heather floated down and began to drum her fingernails on Veronica's desk.

"And Duke, whoah-ho _Duke,_ she is another story. She looked at girls like they were part of a life she couldn't have. Like if she had a life where she could have everything she didn't, she would be swarmed in girls and booze and cigarettes. She fake-drank and fake-smoked and so many parties. Girl couldn't let herself break rules, that's why she was so pathetic."

Heather closed her eyes thoughtfully, humming.

"And those are my testimonials," she said, eyes opening.

"Then what about you?" Veronica sputtered, struggling on her words.

"It was you, unfortunately. Little girl blue caught my eye and I had to enact her into my clique because I fell hard. I told myself and Heather it wasn't because I was a big fat bulldyke."

Heather looked at the dusty oak exterior of the table before wiping away a layer of dust so she could see her reflection. "Then you found Jesse James. I killed what little hope remained within me, and then you and him killed the rest of the me inside of me."

Veronica, for once, was speechless. Heather Chandler was gay and in love with her. "Fuck, Heather." It was one of those times where she could barely force any words out, in contrast to her usual verbose self.

"Can I-" started Veronica, reaching for Heather's chin. She was cold and still smelled of booze and draino. Veronica pulled her closer to where their faces were touching.

"Maybe you could've," Heather cooed, curling her fingers underneath Veronica's chin with her red fingernails, still manicured.

"If you hadn't been so fucking careless."


	2. aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica wakes up.  
> ☆★☆  
> a bit of a filler chapter , lmao sry

When Veronica wakes up, she's dazed, drooling, cold, and the phone is ringing like hell. Veronica took off her shirt, wiping away the spit that still covered her mouth with the shirt. She went to the bathroom and turned on the sink, and gazed into the mirror.

  
The spit wasn't spit. It was blood. Holy fuck, Veronica was bleeding from her mouth. A long crimson trail ran down from her lip, and she tapped a bit of it on her finger and on her tongue. Metallic taste, red color, sure enough, it was blood. Fuck. Fuck. She really couldn't deal with this right now. Splashing some water in her face and turning off the sinks and the light, she picked up the phone.

  
"Dead is a very stro- Oh my god, Veronica." McNamara's voice turned hushed with the "oh my god" from Veronica picking up the phone. "Are you okay? God, I was so worried, I called Heather over-"

  
"I'm fine." spits Veronica. "Fuck, did that sound bitchy?"

  
"No, it's okay. What the hell happened to you? You didn't pick up any of my calls, and I would've driven to you if I didn't have class tomorrow. Massachusetts is a long ways away from Ohio, you know."

  
Veronica stops as she tries to remember the previous night. A cold presence under her chin, the faint taste of chemicals haunting her mouth, and the smell of expensive perfume. Fuck. Heather Chandler made an appearance. In her dorm. Fuck.

  
"Is it stupid to say I saw a ghost?"

  
McNamara almost sputters out her response. "W-what? Oh my god, was it J.D.? My god, I wasn't even the one who passed out from a spiritual presence and woke up at 4 P.M. and I'm probably stressing about it more than I should, shit, Veronica-"

  
McNamara's voice cuts off before she can respond and she hears someone trying to hush Heather and an incoherent whisper. There's some fumbling before the someone speaks into the phone.

  
"Veronica, what the fuck? Are you trying to freak poor Heather out? You know she's still susceptible to attacks." Heather Duke is the someone who picks up the phone. Her voice sounds cold and sharp. Fuck, if McNamara had an attack or was in risk of one, Duke must've stayed the night. No wonder why she was so pissy at Veronica.

 

"No, Heather, I'm not kidding. Why would I intentionally freak Mac out? That's just shitty. I'm not shitty just to be shitty, god."

  
Veronica hears Heather's huff over the line. "Fair enough, but still, what the fuck?"

  
"I-I- no one else sees the ghosts. It's just me, but trust me, I'm not lying. Find some sympathy in your heart, Heather."

  
Heather grumbles. Evidently, she still has retained the bitchiness she copped from _her_ all those years ago. “Okay, whatever. But you better fucking explain yourself in some rational way before I go Karate Kid on your ass for fucking with Mac.”

  
Veronica takes a deep breath. _It’s literally just Duke. You can take her._ “So, you know, I was talking with Mac and then I had to hang up and do homework, yeah? And just as I was about to, y’know, put pencil to paper and shit, and then I just felt her presence. You know the her who I’m talking about. I whipped my head around, sure enough, there she was- petrified as a ghost, still 17. Then she talked to me, all bittersweet and passive-aggressive. Now, too, I’m bleeding I guess, which doesn’t make any sense, but nothing really does with Heather Chandler, so- yeah.”

  
The line is quiet for a bit. Veronica hears McNamara’s sniffling relaxing over the phone, and a few more fumbled whispers. “You’re lucky I know you have trauma hallucinations or whatever. Otherwise, I’d totally maul you for almost giving Mac an attack.” Heather Duke huffs. Then her tone gets softer and quieter. “Do you think she’ll come back?”

  
“I’m not sure, but… I think I kind of want her to.”

☆★☆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i'm sorry this is so short !!! i at least try to make my stuff 1K or more but i plan to make this a multi - chap fic ( with an ending , not just something that goes on forever ) . also sorry formatting is a little odd , i pasted this from my google docs which i pasted from my notes on my phone , so . u kno . next chapter : a sighting of the mythic bitch !!!!  
> ☆★☆  
> torture me on tumblr pussyvvrecker.tumblr.com


	3. sleepless nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica can't sleep.  
> ☆★☆  
> heather seems determined to ruin veronica's late night walk

Veronica can't really go to bed that night. The day she passed out was a Friday, and she never had classes on Saturday, thank the Lord. If she did, she might as well have made a bedsheet noose (and properly tightened it this time). She had gotten some of her homework done tonight, but not much. She couldn't focus- well, how  _can_ you focus when your dead best friend could be lurking at any turn? Veronica had even used the communal bathroom instead of her own- despite the fact it was much more plausible for Heather to show up in a public bathroom rather than a private one.

Instead of sleeping, all she can do is drum her fingers on her mattress and stare at the clock. It's one of those dumb cat clocks that McNamara got as a "you-got-into-Harvard" present. It scares Veronica shitless sometimes, with its uneasy white eyes and the black slits that move back and forth with every second. Sometimes a very tired Veronica waking up at 3 A.M. to seek food nearly faints at the sight of the cat clock. Veronica kept it nonetheless, a reminder of McNamara's genuine friendship.

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._ The cat's black pupils swung back and forth with every strike of a second. Veronica couldn't bear staring at the clock anymore. She had to get up and refresh herself. She turned on the light on the end table near her bed, getting up to look at her closet. Veronica thumbed through it, selected a big black jacket (for intimidation purposes) and threw it on. It being January and all on the East Coast. She slid out of bed, sweatpants still on, and threw on her sandals. Quietly turning her apartment door, she began to depart her apartment in favor of taking a walk.

It wasn't too late, it was only around 1ish. Not too bad, but Veronica was probably still at risk of being mugged. Not like she would object to a mugging considering her state of mind, anyway.

The streetlights on campus are the only thing illuminating her path. Everything but the sidewalk is covered in a thick layer of snow, shoveled out by a few volunteers. Thank God.

Veronica has her hands in her pockets, tempted to run to the nearest drug store and buy cigarettes and a lighter and burn the cigarette into her hand again. It hurt like a bitch, but God if it was better than chugging drain cleaner or dying under false homoerotic reasons. Veronica, however, resisted for once and sat on a bench close by.

The night was really spectacular. No one seemed to be out, except a few outliers, due to the intense weather. Veronica sighed, breathing out the ghostly cold air while resting her arm on the arm of the bench.

"Didn't expect Veronica Sawyer of all people to be stargazing."

Veronica recognizes that voice too well. It's too haunting, too lingering, too sultry not to be Heather Chandler. Veronica wants to ignore it, but she knows she can't.

"It's a nice night."

"Thought you didn't like all that 'dumb cheesy-ass John Hughes bullshit'."

"Times change, Heather. I was 17, I thought anything that came out of my mouth was worthy of a Nobel Prize."

"Some of it was."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

Veronica sits in silence for a bit longer, Heather's ghost just next to her. Veronica pipes up, deciding it's the only thing to do.

"You still smell like drain cleaner."

"And you're still a smart-ass. What else is new?" Heather scoffs, but in a way that Veronica knows she doesn't mean it. Decoding the emotions of Heather Chandler is tricky, but Veronica knows Heather is only trying to deflect away from herself.

"A lot of things, actually. Here I am at Harvard for psychology, McNamara's at Ohio State even though she doesn't really need to be, and Duke went straight into the workforce."

"Fun," Heather scoffs again. 

"If you like Freud, I guess."

There's silence for a bit longer before Heather speaks again. Heather seems to have a need to speak as if not doing so will kill her a second time. Maybe it's from all the gossip and popularity, where being the center of attention was something Heather loved to excel at. Without a vessel to inhabit, there was no crowd for Heather to please. Veronica feels bad for her regarding that, in a way.

"What the devil are you even doing out at night?"

"Taking a walk. Am I not allowed?"

"Not in this weather. You'll get pneumonia. Before I moved to Sherwood, my family and I lived in New York and a lot of the snow storms were hell incarnate."

"I'm not going to die, not yet. I wouldn't be opposed to it, but I have to finish college first."

"Go back to your dorm, Veronica. Go to bed."

"You can't make me."

"What are you, twelve? Go back to your damn dorm and fucking  _sleep_ for once, God."

"Not yet."

"Fine," Heather sighed, "you leave me no choice."

Without warning, the street lamps illuminating the sidewalk went dark. There were a few forlorn shouts from some outliers still walking around campus, but no reactions coming from the entire student body.

"Now I highly recommend you go inside because I'm not turning the street lamps back on until you will."

"You're fucking psychotic."

" _I'm_ not the one who puked all over $400 Prada shoes at a Remington party, smart-ass!"

"Touché," Veronica said, sighing. Heather wouldn't let up anytime soon, so it seemed she had no choice but to go inside. "I'll succumb to your wishes. I'm going inside, I hope you're happy."

"Good girl," Heather purred. As soon as Veronica entered the lobby of her dorm, the street lamps flipped back on and the rowdy comments about the only source of light being out died down and were replaced by "Thank God"s.

Veronica trailed up the stairs, Heather flanking her on her side. "Room 75B. How modest!" Heather cackled, flipping her blonde locks backward as Veronica grumbled and fumbled with the keys. She finally opened her door, walking inside and closing it quietly.

"This place is vile, just so you know. It looks like a troll lives here."

"Yeah? Well, I'm pretty close." Veronica gives a half-hearted chuckle at her own comment and shuffles into her room tiredly, flopping down on her bed. "I... need to...," Veronica started, but fell asleep almost exactly when she hits the bed.

Heather sighs. "Sawyer, Sawyer, Sawyer. I don't know what I'll do with you," she muses, tucking Veronica into bed.

"Goodnight, darling." Heather smooths the messy hair back from Veronica's face and leaves a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I'll see you soon enough."

☆★☆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg wow what the hell 2 chapters in 2 days ????? how wild .......... anyway this chapter is a little over 1k words ( hooray ) and for now ... it's really soft , but it's going to get very sad very soon . please don't expect regular updates like this , i normally don't write this fast .  
> ☆★☆  
> torture me on tumblr pussyvvrecker.tumblr.com


End file.
